The Flame / Emotive State

Of my longstanding curiosities pertaining to human nature is the question as to what drives our emotive state.  It has proven a proverbial jigsaw puzzle – at first reading it seemed as simple as one’s interaction with environmental stimuli (people, tasks, events); and subsequently, the emotive state being determined by interpretation of these interactions on a personal level. This is however but one angle of approach. As more pieces have slowly fallen into place, the picture; though it remains obscured, grows in complexity but by the same token, becomes more cogent.

A cautious theorisation I have built from a foundation which links the concept of a flame with that of emotional wellbeing or one’s emotive state. The absolute degree of emotional wellbeing reflects how brightly this flame burns: such that a strong, positive emotive state would be intense, whereas a negative, recurrently depressed or melancholic state would be flickering intermittently, on the verge of being snuffed out.
 
It is useful to consider the framework in an alternative context of speed. We want to fly at terminal velocity, which is akin to saying we seek to be emotionally fulfilled. In order to do that, we need to choose the right ‘fuel’ to keep the engines operating at maximum power, or the flame burning strongest if you will. Evidently and again, as is often the case on matters of emotion, the underlying logic is an energy concept, and therein ‘fuel’ from the analogy and ‘energy’ have been used interchangeably.

The Baseline

Before delving further into the types of ‘fuel’, it is worthwhile bearing in mind that there is a baseline powering the flame which is afforded by is some function of genetics and the individual’s unique perspective. Further, this baseline is ’stock,’ i.e: it does not rely upon exogenous energy per se, and is often deterministic in its impact upon the other parts of the emotive state equation. Someone who has a strong sense of fulfilment that is sourced from within will tend to have a higher baseline than someone who is more reliant upon external energy.

Energy Types

Categorically, energy or fuel can be separated into three distinct classes: Primary, Secondary, and Auxiliary. In addition to the baseline, these fuel ‘sources’ constitute the building blocks of a dynamic energy profile which will determine an individual’s level of emotional wellbeing at a given point in time. With regard to our flame metaphor, in essence: it defines how strongly the flame is burning, if at all.

Primary Energy

Primary energy encompasses all those sources which have a high degree of stability about them. Overwhelmingly often, primary ‘fuel’ is the family, partner, job and very strong pursuits (such as a religion). Reliability, quality and intransience are the three criteria that differentiate this group from other classes of fuel.

The efficacy of primary sources in fuelling the flame is contingent on how well they are selected. For example, a person who is passionate, perhaps borderline obsessive about their occupation will often derive relatively potent and undulating energy from their job. Such people are quite easily distinguishable from the vibe they emanate in the workplace, which will sharply contrast to that exuded by someone who works because it pays the bills.

A similar logic applies to partners. If a large proportion of your emotional wellbeing is being procured through a relationship with another person, then you need to ensure the levels of those three tenets (reliability, quality and intransience) mentioned above are the highest possible.

Compromise will reduce both the amount of energy and its continuity of flow. To illustrate, an unreliable or sub-optimal partner will often break promises, have bouts of insensitivity, and drain emotional energy, hence adversely affecting your emotive state. Ups and downs occurring at high frequency and/or intensity often signal something is wrong. Ideally, the energy profile of an optimal relationship should be a continuous, approximately equal flow between the two partners such that it forms a virtuous positive cycle, causing both partners’ flames to burn stronger.

When it does not operate in this way, there is either a leakage or imbalance that results from either adverse selection (mismatched partners) or some other temporary factor (e.g. an event which effects emotional shock). As will be discussed later in the analysis, compromise in selection also leaves one’s emotive state increasingly vulnerable to shock.

Exemplified by the two anecdotes above, the critical importance of incisive selection cannot be overlooked. Irrespective of which primary sources your emotive state is driven by, it is vital to choose them prudently as they will largely underwrite the amount of happiness (or indeed unhappiness) you will experience in life.

Secondary Energy

Secondary sources shore up the tank of baseline and primary energy with extra fuel. Activities framed in a social context form the most common secondary sources. Friends and associated interaction, conversation, commiseration and shared activity are the most prevalent examples. Further sources often include less prominent passions (i.e. hobbies) and routine activities such as team sport and club/group meetings.

Another stream of secondary sources exists in the group encompassing travel and other related intellectual, aesthetic and experiential pursuits. Whilst it is acknowledged that these can indeed provide sustaining energy, they are still volatile; and from what I have observed, still unable to match the potency of a primary source.

What characterises secondary as distinct from primary is chiefly the concept of ‘staying power.’ Whereas there is a high grade of permanency and consistency to a primary source such as family, friendships are often more transient and less powerful, hence the energy flowing from secondary sources will tend to be comparatively lower, and have higher unpredictability.

The resulting logic is that one should never stoke the flame or build emotional wellbeing with secondary energy sources, simply because they are not the highest quality available. A attribute distinct to people I know who have a friendship group at the centre of their emotional universe is their propensity to fluctuate capriciously between euphoria “I’m going out partying with my girls this weekend” and despair “those bitches are trying to make my boyfriend break up with me.” Aforementioned oscillation also occurs with males, but the swings and extremes are generally more subdued.

In terms of our flame analogy – were I to be deserted in a dark forest in hope of being found and rescued, I would sooner rely on a signalling flare than a flaming wooden torch.

Auxiliary Energy

Having likened the former sources (primary and secondary) to flares and torches, then auxiliary energy would earn the dubious classification of a matchstick.

Auxiliary energy is the ‘booster’ or source of last resort and tends toward being temporary (not continuously sustainable) and can, in certain instances be somewhat esoteric with regard to efficacy because it is difficult to establish a firm linkage between the source (input) and the positive emotive state (outcome). For example, I’ve increasingly found music being utilised as a favoured source of auxiliary energy.

Whilst the dynamics of how music impacts emotive state is inherently what I like to term ‘fuzzy logic’ and rests on another level of intricacy entirely; the sense underpinning why music is a very popular auxiliary source is not. Music is, quite simply, unidirectional. Whereas the obtaining of primary energy and indeed secondary energy involves both an accretion and dispersion (i.e. you have to give something in an energy sense in order to receive), music is purely accretive – you just plug in, press play and get instant gratification.

It is the same story with most other auxiliary sources: alcohol, television, casual sex, aggression, drugs, shopping and the like. The highs produced from auxiliary sources are fleeting because the energy burns out quickly. They are discrete and not continuous. For this very reason, they are the most unstable of the fuel sources and are often called upon as an emergency measure when there is some shock to the baseline and primary system to provide a quick fix to a weak emotive state.

Most dangerous of all is to base core emotive state (or fuel the flame) on auxiliary sources. This is a recipe for disaster from which the dish prepared is most frequently a breakdown. It is simply not enough to live day to day engaging auxiliary energy to sustain a positive emotive state or make yourself feel good. I have debated this point many a time and the outcome has been consistently the same. At some point, the individual develops reduced sensitivity to the auxiliary source as repetitive use blunts the positive effects and either they descend rapidly after the source becomes vain, or they rely upon increasingly larger ‘doses’ until it consumes or kills them.

Shock

To close the loop, a shock, as previously alluded to, is best understood analogously to a gust of wind that causes the flame to flicker. Narrowly defined, they are high impact events that carry low and/or volatile probabilities, for example, such things as untimely death of someone close or sudden change of circumstance (breakup etc). Emotive shocks can come in the guise of residual fallout from economic (job dismissal), material (loss of important possession), mental (crisis of identity) and spiritual (crisis of faith/death anxiety) shocks.

Common to all statistically significant shocks is their ability to inflict substantive damage upon emotive state. Insofar as delineation, shocks can be of a temporary (trial separation) or permanent (death) nature. Intuitively, the impact of a temporary shock will tend to be short-term, whilst a permanent shock runs greater risk of meting out a ‘scarred for life’ effect on emotive state. Forceful shocks can even wipe out the baseline and leave what was once impermeable riddled with holes.

Agglomeration

Tying the sources together in such proportion and in such a way as to maximise the brilliance and continuity of the flame is the end of endeavour. How we feel as emotive creatures is becoming increasingly driven by external energy. Coming back to the beginning analogy, in an ideal situation, the flame that powers us would be self-perpetuating, burning strongly without the need for any modicum of energy or ‘fuel’ in excess of the baseline.

In reality however, this is for most practical intents and purposes not possible, so we need to feed the flame with various energies/fuels to keep it both alight and bright. How appropriately we choose these sources and the aptitude with which we put them together will govern the brightness dynamics of the flame and hence characterise the level of our emotive state.

Robustness, the second dimension of the flame/emotive state is a function of two things, the energy profile itself, and how susceptible it is to shocks. Dealing with shocks is equally important as ensuring the energy profile is sound.

There is little comfort in having a brilliant flame if that flame could be extinguished by a moderate breeze.

***
Given the claims on my time of late have risen to levels that would bankrupt the average person, this will likely be the final piece for 2007, a year which, in many respects, has brought change like none before. Personally, the year has afforded insights of increased complexity, bequeathed experience of higher value and forged connections of greater strength than any preceding it. I have seen camels pass through the eyes of needles and am now that much closer to what I am seeking.

The holiday season is known for its festivity, but it should also serve as a time for reflection. A year has passed, things have changed. Do you leave 2007 the same person you came in? What standout experiences this year have changed and shaped you? Did these things happen for a reason? How are you progressing on your journey?
Wishing you a fulfiling and insightful holiday season,

P. X. Waterstone

~ by X on December 9, 2007.